Sunday, October 19, 2003


by Wayne Robins

Strange dream last night: I was trying to sell a proposal for a magazine called WAYNE, the Magazine for All Things Wayne.

There were cover story ideas on "Wayne's World"; John Wayne, with whom I'm often confused. (Not!); and the fine and clever rock group, Fountains of Wayne.

Features included, Ballplayers Named Wayne, such as the life and times of Wayne Terwiliger, obscure infielder for the Washington Senators. (And the only "Wayne" I can recall on a baseball card in my youth). Also, a profile of r&b singer Wayne Wonder. A story on serial killers and guys on death row named Wayne. (It is often the middle name of such bad guys, like John Wayne Gacy. Why, I do not know). And a regular department, Guys Named Warren Who Are Erroneously Called Wayne, and Vice Versa." It happens all the time to me, and every guy I've ever met named Warren has told me the same thing, in reverse.

The dream materialized after watching the Florida Marlins outrun the Yankees in game one of the World Series. The Marlins pitching coach is named Wayne Rosenthal, and it struck me during one of his visits to the mound what an unusual baseball name that is.

It also comes a few days after (in real life) being held hostage in a doctor's waiting room for an hour and a half, with the courtesy TV for impatient patients set to "The Wayne Brady Show." I had tried to avert my eyes and ears from the show, unsuccessfully, and so caught Brady performing a hambone song called "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" before introducing his guest, Kevin Bacon. Bacon's got a movie he wanted to promote, and is known to cringe at the six degrees bit. But Brady was relentless, giving Bacon the third degree on six degrees. It is Bacon's gift as an actor and a gentleman that he was able to suppress his contempt for the clownish host. Brady's set features a huge display of his name in lights: "WAYNE." He seems to have a following, so I guess that means that whether I like it or not, he'll have to be featured in WAYNE magazine, probably even a cover story.

Well. As Bob Dylan once said, "I'll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours." As I once said, it's time to end this, as I suspect your interest is waning.

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